Just a Dream Away

Just a dream away.  In the uncertainty of the times, the Olympics offer a moment of uplifting emotion.  Isn't this type of self-discipline, desire, and passion a flame of hope for all?  It was captured well in this 1984 Sarajevo Olympic song tribute by John Denver. Click for a song reminder.

A Winter Restoration Thought

Time to nurture the dream seeds.  

Dream BIG.  

It's easy.

Inspired Reflection

Look into the eyes of another person and here reflected back is the masterpiece of co-creation.  Perfect--continually flowing with love from the source of all creation.  

 Let us care for our masterpiece with the tenderness and compassion imbued by our willingness to receive and live out our fullness.

Dancing With the Mountains

Above is a photo of my eldest son caressing the side of mountain.  If you love the mountains you'll enjoy this classic bit of John Denver.  If you're into the thrill of the 2010 Olympic skiing, you'll love the film footage.  Check out this YouTube for a little lift to your day.

Staying Present in the Face of Grief

Awaken each day and ask:

Where would you have me go?

What would you have me do?

What should I say?

And to whom?

Joseph Campbell Quote

It is only by going down into the abyss 

that we recover the treasures of life.  

Where you stumble there lies your treasure.  

The very cave you are afraid to enter 

turns out to be the source of 

what your are looking for.

~Joseph Campbell~

Dagara Grief Technique

To weep is to make less the depth of grief.

~William Shakespeare, King Henry the Sixth

Sobonfu Some teaches the importance of tears and the importance of someone bearing witness to those tears.  In the western world our instincts are to offer kind soothing touch to ease away or shut off the tears.  The Dagara way is to allow the grieving person an opportunity to cry without physical interference.  Touch can shut down the tears that are ready to flow or flowing.  During her Dagara grief rituals, Sobonfu demonstrates different grieving body language that would require the support person to intervene with touch.  The touch is specific to the ritual.  Done correctly, it will not shut down the emotional release.  Sobonfu's calendar for grief ritual in the United States is listed on her website.

Recount One's Grief

One often calms one's grief by recounting it.

~Pierre Corneille~

In these times of rapid change, finding the time to really listen to people is an invaluable source of comfort for us and others. We need not solve or resolve, but rather hold others with compassion.  Allow the stories to unfold, be recounted, so the healing journey can progress.

Shock and Testing part of grief phases

In my research I came across a list of grief phases that includes two more than the Kubler-Ross version.  I like this broken out version.   For more detail follow the link.

Source: Hospice Foundation of America

• Shock stage: Initial paralysis at hearing the bad news.

• Denial stage: Trying to avoid the inevitable.

• Anger stage: Frustrated outpouring of bottled-up emotion.

• Bargaining stage: Seeking in vain for a way out.

• Depression stage: Final realization of the inevitable.

• Testing stage: Seeking realistic solutions.

• Acceptance stage: Finally finding the way forward.

Quote for Grief

What soap is for the body, tears are for the soul.

~Jewish Proverb~

Problems with Grief Phases

While searching for websites with information on grief, I came across one which explains outcomes of the grief process. "A common problem with the phases of the grief cycle is that people can get stuck in one phase. Thus a person may become stuck in denial, never moving on from the position of not accepting the inevitable future. When it happens, they still keep on denying it, such as the person who has lost their job still going into the city only to sit on a park bench all day.

Getting stuck in denial is common in 'cool' cultures (such as in Britain, particularly Southern England) where expressing anger is not acceptable. The person may feel that anger, but may then repress it, bottling it up inside.
Likewise, a person may be stuck in permanent anger (which is itself a form of flight from reality) or repeated bargaining. It is more difficult to get stuck in active states than in passivity, and getting stuck in depression is perhaps a more common ailment."  Read more on this topic.

Quote for Grief Reflection

If you're going through hell, keep going.  ~Winston Churchill

Phases involved in Grief

Although there are many theories about the emotional path grief takes most grief therapists agree about the general phases involved.

Denial:  “This can’t be happening to me.”

Anger:  “Why is this happening?  Who is to blame?”

Bargaining:  “Make this not happen, and in return I will____.”

Depression:   “I’m too sad to do anything.”

Acceptance:  “I’m at peace with what happened.”

Keep in mind these phases don’t have to take a set order.  Grieving can be very much like a roller coaster full of ups, downs, highs and lows.

Grief a Human Response to loss

Grief is the human response to loss of many kinds. Grief is the emotion felt when something or someone of great import and love is taken away. Although grief is most commonly associated with death, it can actually be a response to other loss.

Examples of such loss are: a relationship breakup, loss of health, loss of a job, loss of financial stability, a miscarriage, death of a pet, loss of a dream, concern over a loved one’s serious illness, loss of friendship, loss of safety after a trauma, loss of a job, retiring from a job, loss of a way of life, moving from home, concern for earth and global strife. Generally, the more significant the loss for a person, the more intense the emotional outpouring of the grief.

Have you experienced grief? What have you done with the emotional response?

Grief Ritual

Sobonfu Somé is coming to the heart of the heartland! A long awaited opportunity has unfolded. On February 26, 27, 28, 2010, Sobonfu Somé will offer her indigenous African medicine by facilitating a Dagara Grief Ritual for the people of the mid-west. Location is Omaha, Nebraska.

What is a Dagara grief ritual? Grief Ritual is one of the most important rituals of Dagara people. The ritual is a soul-cleansing rite that can clear away lingering clouds and festering wounds from abandonment, divorce, death, the loss of careers, dreams and much more. This ritual can help release grief, lighten your soul, let your true spirit be heard and help you become more balanced. Sobonfu, assisted by Jojopah, a fire shaman, will lead a group of participants through this two and half day event.

Who attends or should attend the grief ritual? People feeling grief for the earth, anyone who has lost a loved one, a job, a dream or pet; people who are stuck in unhealthy relationships or emotionally unhealthy situations; therapists, educators, business people, retired people, Veterans, Holocaust survivors, gardeners, lawyers, scientists, musicians, doctors, nurses, artists... people exploring their feelings or experiencing loss, people like you and I, etc.... Participants build a traditional African ritual space, transition to becoming a village, drum, sing, move and grieve. The 2 ½ day ritual is quite rigorous. The facilitators recommend participants reserve some personal transition time the day after the event. Pricing is $340 partial scholarships may be available. Contact Julie to inquire. To register, get more details and arrange payment options contact Julie Carda juliecarda@gmail.com