Family Wound Manifest Part Two

The following is two examples of how the family wound can manifest after its initial eruption.

Problem Children

The family wound directly disrupts the lives of those who were on the front lines of the traumatic events. But, preferring not to talk about painful things and forgetting indigenous rituals for transforming pain, the wound is unconsciously passed on to the next generation. The child/children who are considered “the problem child/children” are the messengers and reminders to the family that there is unresolved trauma and emotional pain coursing through the blood lines. As teenagers and young adults, these family messengers act out the family pain through risky and unhealthy behaviors and relationships. Instead of being recognized and acknowledged for giving evidence of embedded family trauma, they are labeled “the bad seed” and either tolerated or ostracized by other family members.

Being Thwarted for Best Efforts

The family wound can also be understood as the energy that binds one to people, places and circumstances that can neither support the truth of who you are nor nurture your soul. As a result, the experience of being thwarted for one’s best efforts becomes common place. And even when it is clear that you are in the wrong relationship, job or state of mind, you will find a way to convince yourself to tolerate the situation. I know people who have continued smoking even after a family member or close friend has died from lung cancer. The pain of family wound is so old and so deep that it has the power to fool you into believing that you are okay when you really are not.

Tomorrow I will share some effective ways to address the family wound and how to discover the gift in it.

Blessings,
Jojopah Maria Nsoroma